Adventures in freakdom.
I’m interested in knowing how much you two are saving per month by producing a good bit of your food. Are you still grocery shopping once a week? Do you plan on tracking your savings? I think it would be great if you could generate a report of expenses from two yrs ago compared to now.
Robyn’s probably the best one to ask that, because she does the books. I can tell you this: she doesn’t go to the grocery store nearly as much now, and when she does, she rarely needs my help carrying stuff in because she can get it all in one load. We’re no longer buying vegetables, eggs, or chicken from the store. Right now, we’re not buying fruit, either, because I’m eating plums, peaches, and apples grown here.
Speaking of growing things here, the habaneros are coming in now, woot! Time to start making jam again. This year I’m going to try to really light it up.
I was involved in a humorous incident yesterday which involved a man, a deaf hooker, and me getting caught making a fool out of myself while urinating. It pains me not to be able to write about it, but I can’t.
If you would, though, please imagine right now that I wrote something really funny, because it’s been a while since I did.
The pigs will be going to the processor in about three weeks. I’m already trying to call the pig man to get two more.

They love them some wallerin’.
Okay, short and sweet today, because I want feedback from YOU. There are several roosters among the chicks we’ve hatched at Crooked Acres, and they’re coming into their oats now, chasing around the womenfolk and making hilarious attempts to crow. McLovin doesn’t like the competition, and he gets after them when they try to get randy in his presence.
McLovin will be making the transition from yard to refrigerator on Saturday morning. I spent a couple of afternoons this week building a processing station out of scrap wood and orange safety cones, and will be using that when I take care of him. I designed it to be an all-in-one station so that I can process chickens alone, and not force Robyn to be involved with the bloodletting.
The new station involves a different killing method because, well, that head chop was sort of traumatizing. I could go through it again, but if there’s something less brutal-seeming, I’m all for it. This time, I’m going to try a simple slice to the jugular, with McLovin hanging in a cone. Everything I’ve read indicates that it’s very peaceful and painless (though there may be the inevitable flapping and flailing at the end due to nerves), that the chickens just (more or less) go to sleep.
So I’ve read.
Anyway, I’m willing to document the processing of a chicken from beginning to end (as best I can by myself, anyway) and put up a photographic entry. This is where you come in. Tell me in the comments whether or not you want such an entry posted. Feel free to support your answer with impassioned pleas one way or the other, or feel free to leave a completely unrelated comment. Simple majority rules on the voting, unless I feel like there’s some vote tampering going on (ie, 50 PETA-sounding posts in a row, or a bunch of cows telling me to eat mor chikin).
Tell me what you want.
If you want to get notified whenever Fred writes a journal entry, this link will do the trick.
If you want to get notified whenever Fred posts a crazy link, this link is what you want.
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Actually, I’d be interested in seeing the process. You may want to put a disclaimer on the entry to warn away the squeamish. I’m trying to think of a bad pun here, but alas.
I want you to be able to post whatever you want because it’s your blog, but I want a warning because this is one post I definitely won’t read.
I would not read the post, because I’m a wimp who prefers to believe that my delicious chikins are plucked from trees, ready for me to eat. I would, however, read about a deaf hooker. I’m just saying.
Love ya Fred, but can’t read THAT entry…..I kinda had a hard time with just the
description! I’m all about that deaf hooker story, though! Loved Elaine’s philosophy
on the chickns being plucked from trees!
I wouldn’t be able to read it myself, but I’m sure there are those out there who would. If you could just give a little warning….
I would definitely read it.
I’m interested in seeing and reading about your new “process”, Fred. Will that include video of you catching McLovin?
Ya know, it isn’t nice to tease us with the tantalizing details of your funny story and not fill us in.
I’m a morbid freak who would actually be interested in seeing the process. Put me down as an “aye”.
I’d read it, what the hell…. It’s like passing a car wreck where even if you don’t want to see anything you just have to look!
The written descriptions wouldn’t bother me but I think the pictures would. I’d probably just scroll really fast over them. Feel free to do what you want though - your entry might help someone else out there that’s trying to do the same thing OR it might give a little reality check to someone who thinks they can do what you and Robyn are doing at the farm.
I vote post it. Partly because I’m somewhat interested (though I may view it through my fingers) but mostly because it’s your damned blog, and you should post whatever you want.
Post whatever you like, Fred. But I will not read any entry with graphic slaughter pics in it, so I expect to be warned before I see something I can’t forget.
Story–yes. Pictures–no! (maybe you can provide a link for those who want to see them). And that was mean teasing us with the deaf hooker/you peeing story!!
Yeah, what Desi said.
Ya know, since I read the first chicken processing entry, I get a mental picture of those damn Chik-fil-A cows every time your posting notice pops up in my email box. Eat more chikin, indeed. :O
Will definitely not read. It’s getting harder and harder to read this site with all the killing going on! I know it’s a better thing as far as food goes, but still.
Did someone say “Home vivisection!!!” Of course I’d be interested in seeing pictures and reading about it. If you include audio or video I’d give that a listen/view too. I’ve seen many a deer rendered into venison. Aside from the head removal and 15 seconds of spasm, it sounds like it’s not that different, just on a smaller scale. Frankly, I’d like to see you splay them out like Mel Gibson laying on the cross at the end of Braveheart, with a thought balloon saying, “FREEDOM!!!” Maybe that’s it, you could re-enact favorite movie death scenes with each refrigerator bound yard-bird…maybe I should have just posted “yes”…
Don’t think I’ve ever commented, though I enjoy very much both your site and Robyn’s. So…hello.
First, I do find it fascinating reading about all of your food growing, both animal and vegetable. I do think I’d rather not see the actual slaughtering, though I would read about it. I concur with the suggestion of maybe a link to pictures if one chooses to look.
Thanks for posting so many photos and stories of everything around your place, though. It’s been very interesting watching you guys become so self-sufficient.
I would like to see the pictures. I live in the suburbs and this is as close as I get to farming.
I’d read it and look at the pictures.
I’d want to read it!
I would definitely read it, I find that stuff really interesting (and informative), and I hope to live in the country one day and do much the same. Oh and for what it’s worth, my dad used to just shoot chickens in the head. I think I might give him a call and ask him more about how that worked out.
Yes, I would definitely read it & check out the pics.
And Scott has a great idea
I’d suggest you put up a disclaimer for the squeamish, but I’d be very interested to see your process.
All joking aside, I take the premeditated killing of an animal pretty seriously, and will not be posing bodies or trying to make funny pictures with them. Any pictures would be for demonstrative purposes only.
I would love to see it. Also– you should check out
http://www.naturesharmonyfarm.com/
They are new small scale farmers in Georgia that are talking about processing their own chicken.
Yes, document. HOWEVER, make sure there’s a big disclaimer at top of post in case I’m eating–especially if I’m eating chicken!
Chicken minus the head doesn’t cause suffering. Think about it, the head is quickly severed so the body just does the twitch and the brain can’t register discomfort/pain etc. because the body isn’t attached. A long way to get there….Anyhow, post or not I believe is up to you. I agree with a disclaimer for the squeamish. Those who are interested in a better way to process a chicken would probably be grateful.
As for the man, the deaf hooker and you the only advise I can give is do not use public toilets at a park or highway rest stop.
Hanson? Seriously? They are still around? YIKES!
Eet mor chiken.
Yes, I’d love to see that. I’m kind of having a hard time picturing the process involving orange cones, and eyeballing the ones in the back of my truck strangely.
Eat more chikins!
Sorry, I just couldn’t resist…..I’ll go now….
Debby
I’d like to see the process. As a kid we would go to my uncles farm to process the chickens for our family and his. I remember the dogs going CRAZY with the blood and chickens running around with their heads cut off. Funny in a sick kind of way, but heck, if ya wanna eat…….
I’d like to see. I’m city folk. I need me some learnin’!
Well, obviously it isn’t going to bother me a bit, since we butcher animals all the time.
Deaf hooker….well, I got nothin.
I vote for seeing the entry.
I would read that entry, Fred– I’m really interested to see your setup and processing!
By all means, go ahead and document the process. I’ll certainly be reading it. Interesting and educational!
Post away!! The wimps can skip it if you give them a warning. It’s been about 60 years since I killed a chicken, so I would be interested in your “modern” method. By the way, thanks for the straight format today. When google puts in ads, the ads tend to cover up the first letter in each line where they are inserted. Is that something fixable at your end, or is it just me??
If you do post it, can you make it a chicken-only post with a disclaimer at the top? Like, no funny anecdotes at the bottom that I would miss because I don’t want to scroll past pictures of a rooster hanging from a cone.
I think it’s awesome you’re able to do this. I wouldn’t have the nerve.
I’d like to see the entry. All this “farm stuff” is foreign to me, and I’m learning a lot reading all your entries.
I agree with Andrea. I definitely DO NOT want to hear about it or see it, and it is becoming more difficult to read your blog because of this topic. I’ve been reading and enjoying it for years, since before you lost all your weight. I’ve always gotten excited when you posted something new, but now I am finding myself hesitant to read it for fear of what I’m going to hear/see. I love hearing about the garden but not about the animals. I’m all for freedom speech…I guess I’m just sad that I’m not enjoying your postings as much anymore because of the graphic info about the animals.
I don’t think I’d have the stomach to look at the photos or video, but I DO want you to post about it. I think it’s a hugely important subject and one about which we need to get real. (My own squeamishness notwithstanding…)
Well, I have to say that I would not be interested in reading that entry, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t post it. It’s your blog! Post anything you want here!
It certainly won’t make me go away–and the talk of backyard butchering hasn’t bothered me–but I wouldn’t read it.
Just put at the top of the page what the entry’s about, and try to make all the graphic pictures low enough that just opening your page in a browser wouldn’t reveal them, I think, and you can probably satisfy everyone.
yes please post the story and photos… im the girl who wont go fishing (its boring) but will clean all the fish, or the quail, pheasant, and grouse. i am hoping my husband gets a deer this year would love to see the proccess and help out …
I would like to read it (guess I’m a sick-o). I honestly don’t know if I want to see the pics or not. Maybe (morbid human that I am)
Ditto this:
I agree with Andrea. I definitely DO NOT want to hear about it or see it, and it is becoming more difficult to read your blog (and Robyn’s, for that matter) because of this topic. I’ve been reading and enjoying it for years, since before you lost all your weight. I’ve always gotten excited when you posted something new, but now I am finding myself hesitant to read it for fear of what I’m going to hear/see. I love hearing about the garden but not about the animals. I’m all for freedom speech…I guess I’m just sad that I’m not enjoying your postings as much anymore because of the graphic info about the animals.
Of course, you can post whatever you want, but if I had my wish, I would suggest all gory topics be listed as “to read about such and such, click here” type of thing.
Click here, meaning you would have to go to a separate page to see the graphic stuff/read description.
And I also want to hear the story that you won’t tell us!!!!
I would like to read and view pictures. Very educational. It doesn’t disturb me since you are being respectful and humane to the animal.
I’ve also been reading both yours and Robyn’s blogs for ages, and would appreciate at least a disclaimer at the top of the entry, or ideally, you could have a link to the entry so if people want to read/see the chicken slaughter they can go “fill their boots”.
Cheers!
Definitely would love to read it! Thanks!
yes.
as much as i’m curious to see what it’s actually like, I don’t think I could stomach it…plus I’d probably feel bad for the poor guy:) Deaf hookers all the way!
Go for it.
I have to say that I find it really odd people that seem to get upset by the killing of animals for food. I always wonder why most people dont relate the chicken/beef/pork that they buy in the market to an animal.
Do you think that in the future that you will get any other sorts of animals?
The pigs are very cute!
Hell yeah post it…….
Like I have been saying…us city folk are curious. Besides that if it prompts some one on here to look into more naturally fed foods thats cool. Not in the PETA way but because it is God Damn scary the preservatives and shit they do to our food
Okay; thing is,I feel like I’ve come to know McLovin, cause I’ve been there for his whole life!!! My father used to kill chickens by just putting his foot on the head and jerking. No big deal. Also, the Muslim’s just chant “Bismallah!” and slice off the head and feed it to the neighborhood dogs. I’m fasinated by the idea of employing a safety cone in the process. (Seems kinda ironic. LOL!!!)Headless chickens will flap and fly!!! When I was growing up, that was how Sunday dinner was done–if the Preacher was coming. You could give him a sedative before hand, couldn’t you??? Like ask your Vet??? I’m FOR the entry; just to be clear. I’ve come to the point of not buying ANY chicken since you and Robyn helped me become more aware of the suffering of chickens. Unless they commit suicide or die of old age, and lived a cage free life–I don’t buy. I’m serious. Just have a vat of boiling water ready when you are ready to de-feather.(sic)I feel if people can EAT a chicken, they shouldn’t be “spared” the way the chicken gets to them. (Plucking from trees, etc.LOL!!!)
I’m more squeamish about the pigs. (Even though I don’t consume pork.)They seem so, well, personable.Bye the way, what do you plan to do with the pig skins? Can you use them?
Your “Biggest Phan”
Sammi
Your journal, post what you like. But I would appreciate a warning, so I don’t have to read/see it.
I agree with the person above… I personally don’t want to see it, but I don’t think that should stop you from posting it for all the people that want to see it or be educated about it. Just post a warning at the top so I can skip that one!
I would love to see pictures, and even a video! I tell my wife all the time when we get our own place that I am getting chickens because I envy yours!
I would definitely check it out - am wondering how exactly those safety cones will come into play… hmmmmm. I grew up the daughter of a butcher, so saw enough growing up to not be squeamish about it (you can imagine how glamorous my part time job was in high school) I’d like to see how processing goes on the other side of the coin - in a ‘natural’ setting.
Yeah, I would definitely like to see the write-up. I think it’s good to know where food, especially meat, comes from and the fact that you guys make the effort to process your meat in a humane way makes it all the more interesting.
I would like to see how you do it, it sounds very interesting. I do think a warning for the more sensitive types would be a good idea though.
Fred, as someone who has been known to cry seeing dead animals in the street, you can imagine what I’m thinking. But it is your blog and you have every right to put what you want here. But would you give us a little warning first please? (My Mom used to ask me if I knew where my hamburgers came from when I said I hated the thought of cows being killed…)
It’s your blog you can write what you want, but personally I’m too squeamish to want to read it.
The hooker, on the other hand…hell yeah!
Just a thought - why are hamburgers called hamburgers when they are made of beef not ham????
Please….a BIG warning….I live in a world of denial….I like the plucking chickens from a tree theory!!!
I’m with Elaine! Especially the hooker part!
I’d read it. But, of course, I’d really like to read about the hooker.
I became a vegetarian for political, economic and environmental reasons. After 30 years, I’m vegetarian because I’m vegetarian! And I am happy not to be getting all those hormones and anti-biotics, etc. (I buy organic milk, eggs and cheese.)
But if all meat was grown and processed like yours, I’d definitely reconsider.